The Convention That Changed It All

Absence makes the heart grow fonder; while the origin of this quote is unknown, the impact of those words can be profound. Removing yourself from your favorite place can be quite difficult. Sometimes the change is needed, other times the change is made from an irrational viewpoint.

About two years ago, I asked Andy Dixon to remove me from Destructoid. I noticed I was getting into fights in the comments section and writing crappier blogs in some vein attempt to get noticed. I just wanted to be liked, if not help people view games in a different light.

I still visited the site, but I refused to comment or make any blogs. I wanted to be done with the community and everyone around the site. I felt like I had failed them by being a petty child. I didn’t want to stain the good name of their community.

After returning to the community blogs over on Screwattack, I started to realize a lot about myself. I had changed over those few years. I was more level-headed and less angry. I was more willing to discuss instead of assert my opinion. Most importantly, I missed the communities that helped me fall back in love with gaming.

I just wasn’t ready to return to Destructoid. On Screwattack, I actually never lost respect. People accepted that I was on hiatus and the crew members looked forward to my appearance at their yearly cons. I ended up volunteering and feeling empowered and happy. I was glad to give back to a website that kindled a passion in my heart.

I never got that chance with Destructoid…that is until this past weekend. I never expected that PAX East would be the place that I would finally understand what I seek from my writing, but funny things happen to us humans. One minute can be a mundane cycle of repetition while the next is the catalyst for the fire in our minds.

After a hectic first day, my friend clued me in to a DToid meetup for Saturday night. While I skipped out on the photo in the afternoon, I made damn sure that I was able to get to the planned restaurant for that evening. I never expected to be the only person there, but life likes to throw funny curveballs our way.

When the crew ended up being late, I began to panic. I thought I had either wasted my time and money or just misread the location. I didn’t want to say no to the whole situation, so I decided to put myself on the waiting list and get food.

About 10 minutes later, Jed walked in with some friends. Seeing his Twitch shirt, I figured asking if he knew Jonathan Holmes would be a safe bet. Not only was it safe, but it was rightfully founded; Jed was with him for that evening.

This began a very surreal night for me. While I’m not afraid of meeting “celebrities” and talking to them, I never expect to get into a more personal conversation with them. I was also caught by surprise when we sat down for dinner.

This is how it looked like in my head!

Nothing felt out of the ordinary after the talking got started. It was almost as if I were a part of their crew. It seemed like old friends catching up with their non-stop lives. We talked about games we had seen that day, films that were interesting to us, how stupid Cliffy B is and awful interviews.

I also volunteered myself to hand out community awards on the show floor. For all you guys who voted back at home, know that your voices were heard. I went around with the motley crew of DToid members and we handed out those little foam cards with pride and joy.

While the award for the Witcher vanished mysteriously, everyone else was genuinely surprised and happy to be getting these plaques. Seeing their smiling faces and getting to speak with them made me feel accepted. For once in my life, no one looked at me like a psychopath; now I was the bearer of good news and a “golden” trinket.

After we managed to tear up the PAX show floor, we needed food (as most humans do). So, who could turn down a bit of lunch with Mr. Holmes? Not only did I end up meeting and dining with him the night before, but I got to do it two days straight.

Really, what more could a DToid member ask for? I finally got to put faces to the people I have been following for years. Their words and analyses have given me hours of entertainment and introspection that I am thankful for. I cannot imagine myself being alive without such a website.

So while I may have neglected DToid and been an angry little basted for a few years, I feel that I’ve finally matured into the person I wanted to be. Seeing the struggles and challenges that these people go through to give us the content we take for granted really put a lot into perspective for me.

LIKE A BOSS!

So thank you Holmes, Caitlin, Jed, Kyle and Rob. Shout outs to Jared and that partially Asian sounding guy (I’m very sorry! I forgot your name). While I may never become a full fledged friend, you guys certainly made me feel like I was important for a few days. For that, I wish you all the best of luck.

P.S. Remember to name your child Jim, Holmes!

My Summer – Bonus Day: SGC Memories and Blog Reflections

Summer is finally over, g1’s. A new school year has started and so my gaming blogs will be more weekly instead of intense, daily excursions of gaming glory. I’m going to take the time in this blog to discuss the other aspects of my summer and give some reflections on how I felt about my day-to-day overviews of games.

If you are a newer g1 (or somehow spent time under a rock for the past year), then you may not know that Screwattack held a convention this summer titled, “SGC.” As luck may have it, I was able to attend this glorious convention.

I have to say, having only been to one previous gaming convention before (Digital Overload, if you need to know), SGC blew my mind. I was not sure what to expect (I was thinking panels would be 4-5 hours apart with really just people talking for the rest of the time), I could not believe the awesome I had encountered.

All of this almost didn’t happen, though. When I arrived at the luxurious (i.e. crappy) Westin Hotel, I was met with a strange problem. INSUFFICIENT FUNDS! “SHIT,” I began to think, “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?” As it turns out, do not book your hotel room online and expect the hotel staff to receive payment without specifically asking them to.

After a few calls to my mother (who pretty much panicked), I was able to procure a room for 3 nights until she could pay the rest (which she was able to get and I am grateful for). Well, with this harrowing moment put behind me, I walked over to receive my staff badge for the weekend. While waiting, I happened to run into a few nice guys who I spent the evening with. We went over to Denny’s and have a great time.

Now, Denny’s has never agreed with me. I knew that going in, but I didn’t want to be a killjoy and say, “Screw that place and f*#@ you guys,” as I was really having fun with them. So the next morning, about 45 minutes before the convention started, my stomach hit the floor. What else could go wrong this weekend?

Thankfully, nothing did. Even though I reduced my food intake to a granola bar every 10 hours (and eventually I had a burger for lunch on Sunday), I was filled with enough energy to act crazy around people and have a great time kicking ass on Street Fighter 3.

My weekend was pretty much the Street Fighter 3 cabinet. I ended up playing at least 40 matches with one kid who was pretty proficient with Dudley. Being an old fan of SF3, but not playing in years, I had to stick with my man Ryu. We had some great matchups and even ended up getting a perfect on each other in one match.

As for meet ups with the crew, I pretty much talked to everyone but Bryan, Corey and Ben. I did help Corey on the first day by moving some stuff with 2 other fellows, but I never tried to bother her during the weekend (she was incredibly busy). Time for the requisite SGC photos with people, courtesy of my extremely awful camera.

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Nick never dropped character as Tommy, but I still felt I needed to get something out of him. As I approached him for the picture, I asked him, “Can I punch you in the beak?” Tommy shook his head and simply said, “I’d have to punch you in the beak, then.” Fair trade in my mind, but he took our picture and went on about our business.

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Brentalfloss was a great guy. He walked into the Console Gaming area and GPX felt like doing an interview with him. To my fortune, I happened to be the patsy behind the counter that was called to hold the camera. Before the interview, I got my picture and we chatted a little. I lamented not seeing his live performance, but he assured me that the good times were still coming.

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Craig was a great man to meet. I’ve looked up to him in the past few months for this ability to take nothing and create greatness. I looked up so much that for a school assignment in one of my journalism classes, I interviewed the man. I was sure he would forget, but he told me that he had the interview framed in his office. You wouldn’t imagine the pride I felt hearing that.

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Now the picture with Jose is probably my favorite. The day before, I had said a simple hello to Jose and began laughing my ass off. I straightened myself out and said it again. Jose simply started at me and said, “F$*# you.” We then shared a laugh and parted ways. I met up with him the next day and he simply had me get on the floor because of his lack of energy. Right before the photo, he told me, “Dude, your hand is right near my balls.” Classic Jose quote, right there.

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As for Chad and Destin, not many things were said. This was the last day and the final few minutes before everyone was leaving, so I had to make it quick. Chad and I talked a bit, but mostly about how great the weekend was. Destin simply got my picture and I shook his hand, but I kind of shook it twice and felt awkward. I hope Destin doesn’t think I’m some weirdo after that.

If you are wondering what I did as staff, I was helping in the console gaming room. I dolled out the games and controllers to people while making sure no one stole anything (we did almost misplace a few copies of Gears, though). The guys running the console room, GPX Gaming, were extremely nice and I’m thankfully that they were able to help me with questions (also, props to The God Damned Batman for being hilarious).

Regarding my week-long blogs about games, I feel pretty good. I started to lose some steam when I wrote about Blazblue (I drifted towards review more than opinion and impression) and I wasn’t too happy with infamous, but I think I did well overall.

The reaction to my blogs was pretty impressive at first, but it slowly died down as the week went on. While I wasn’t discouraged by this, I’m wondering exactly what I should do to generate a bigger reaction for my future blogs and series. If there is anything at all you g1’s would like to see, please let me know.

And now time for the serious part of the blog. Last week on Saturday, my grandmother passed away after 91 years of life. She was a big influence in the way I wanted to pursue religion in my life and she helped me define my character when I meet people. She will be missed dearly.

In the end, my summer was good, but much like life everything eventually comes to an end. Here’s hoping that we all learn from our experiences and that we never let small things in life bog us down. I will do my best in the future to improve my skills and hopefully bring joy to you g1’s.