Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy

Losing someone is always a tough ordeal. When you care deeply about the emotional and physical health of somebody and they pass, what are you left to do? Grieving only goes so far and sometimes the entire situation warps your mind. I know I have suffered greatly after the death of my grandmother and aunt.

I have never lost anyone that I was physically intimate with, though. Granted, I have not been intimate with another person, but I do not know the trauma and desperation that goes along with losing a lover. Professor Layton does, though.

The plot line for “Professor Layton and the Unwound Future” can be a bit nonsensical in spots, but the ending cuts so very deep to me. To make a long story short, the game deals with some time travel ideas and how one scientist, Dr. Stangun, wishes to travel to the past and save the woman that he and Layton both loved dearly.

10 years had passed since the incident that ripped her from Layton’s life. He obviously had come to terms with her death, but the very thought of seeing her again was too much for him to let his feelings stay dormant.

This love, named Claire, was killed in an explosion of a time machine that Stangun and another scientist were working on. The big twist, though, is that Claire was not actually killed, but moved to the future. This revelation sends Layton into a deeply reflective state and shows the man with a true vulnerability for once.

What sealed the deal for me, though, were the final moments before the credits. Claire explains to Layton that she cannot stay and Layton cries, “You can’t go! I don’t want to say goodbye again! I CAN’T, I WON’T!” I began to sob like a child when I heard that.

The hardest thing in my life is letting go of my past mistakes. I still grief about problems I caused in elementary school and how rotten of a child I was during middle school. I question my own motivations for talking to people, especially women, and wonder if my past echoes exactly how my future will be.

Seeing Layton cry, though, made me realize something; Even a gentleman can get wound up in emotions. I have never been scared of yelling or crying, but I have constantly felt bad about letting my angst cloud my judgment or my lust guide my thoughts. Mostly, though, I am disappointed in myself for not being able to let things pass.

I revel in depression, sadness and despair, but what is it all for? Am I doing my grandmother and aunt some kind of justice by making my own life miserable? Would they even care to look at me in my current state? The answer is obviously no, yet I still continue to down the path of a lonely shut-in.

That is, I would continue down it if I had not finally finished Layton’s third game. He does not hold any ill will against the world for the loss of his beloved. He is kind and courteous to every person he encounters. He puts up with their asinine puzzles and even solves most of their problems without asking for any reparations.

When Layton began to shed tears, I began to lose the heavy burden on my shoulders. While that burden was self-inflicted, it required something external to finally be lifted from me.

So where do I go from here? Well, for starters, I am going to attempt to quit drinking. I cannot claim to be an alcoholic (despite past experiences), but I have never taken a drink simply to chill out after work. My sole motivation for alcohol consumption was my own self-loathing.

Secondly, I am going to put more effort into confronting the demons that haunt me. I will not outline my deepest personal thoughts, but know that they are not pretty. I will make strides in combating them and begin to treat others better than I treat myself.

Lastly, though, I will finally let my grandmother and aunt have their peace. If I had passed before either of them, I surely would not want their worlds to crumble. There is no reason why I am still fixated on their passing, but that time will soon come to an end.

So, thank you, Layton! You have woken me from the nightmare I had created for myself. Without witnessing the sadness and love in your eyes, I do not think I would ever snap out of the self pity I was stuck in. Hopefully I can remain free of that evil zone for the rest of my days.